The Game

I like to play a game. It's called going for a cigerette in Northern B.C. when the weather is thirty below. To begin the game, I walk outside after coating myself with a cumbersome five layers of clothing, that make me feel like five year old in a snow suit with immobile joints. I work hard to pull on my shoes and get outside and light my cigerette. My right thumb (which I broke masturbating four years ago) goes completely numb almost instantly. After smoking about half the cigerette I realize my right hand is frozen so I switch hands and put against my stomach or in my pocket for warmth. Soon I find that my left hand has become nearly as numb as my right and my right is not warming within the depths of my pocket.

It's now that I realize that I haven't plugged in my car for the night so I head over to the car. I decide that I should pull the plastic cover off of the cord, but struggle with it, undoubtedly trying to hold the cigerette between my lips which sends smoke into my eyes. Realizing that this task will be impossible unless I have the use of my eyes and both of my uncirculated hands, I put the cigerette on whatever part of the ground seems to be the least capable of making it too wet to burn.

Now is probably a good time to mention that I have no qualms with putting my cigerette on the filthy ground. Here are my reasons for thinking this is an acceptable thing to do A.)Any and all germs that would normally be present on the dirty driveway have been killed by the terrifically cold weather, B.) Smokers are already purposely inhaling something into their lungs that will give them cancer and eventually kill them so therefore do not fear any candy ass germs that might be lurking around, and C.) It's too fucking cold to spend time thinking of a better way to solve this problem so by default this is the only option, but I digress.

The point is I spend nearly three minutes struggling with this devious little plug cover until I finally free it. I then run to the house and grab the nearest extension cord only to realize that it's the one that is not long enough to reach my car which is parked at the back of the driveway. So I pick up my still burning cigerette off the ground (so as not to waste my precious nicotine) and head back to grab the other cord which will assuredly unplug from the wall when I finally struggle to make it reach my car. After a few jogs to and from the car trying to untangle the vindictive cord which, I personally think is hell bent on making my life inconvenient, I finally succeed in getting the job done.

I run to the house, winded because I've been holding the cigerette in my mouth for half the time I've been outside, and plunge myself into the warmth of house. The only analogy I have for the feeling I have after this type of ordeal is that I feel as if I've just been assaulted and raped by the weather. It's a confusing an unpleasant feeling. So, I tear off my layers of cold coats, vests, and sweaters as if they're coated in sulfuric acid that's just about to burn through to my skin and run to the warmth of my room.

This just happened to me only moments before I wrote this post. You may think this is a pointless and trivial rant, but this happens to me upwards of twice a day depending on how often my mom or sisters moves my car and forget to plug it in again. I guess there are worse things to happen to person, but it obviously pissed me off enough to rant for this long.

Moral of the story: fuck the weather.

I took this picture a few months ago, and I really like it. I'm definitely not a photographer, but when I take pictures on my Sanyo it's fun to pretend. I'm a strong supporter of creativety.

Fried PBJ

Be good kids. Stay off the fried peanut butter, banana, and jam sandwiches or you'll end up like Elvis.

Kenny Quotes

Hanging out with Kenny Bishop can be fun, and here are a few reasons why.

"Why wouldn't those hips wanna shake that ass?"
-Kenny, to Devon, trying to make a convincing argument for her to dance when she refused because of her sore hip.

"It would suck to be a cartoon if your artist was really bad at drawing."
-Kenny commenting on a cartoon that he wasn't very pleased with.

"Hey, I'm Kenny, what's your name?"
"I'm Dee!"
"Oh...So how long have you had that name for?"
-Kenny and Dee after they had met over eight hours earlier.

"So...uh...(unnecessarily long pause) how many friends do ya got! I've got like at least fifty."
-Kenny possibly searching for something to say after forgetting what the original point of his statement was.

"What ever you're about to do, don't ever do it again."
-Kenny, no valid explanation.

"Talk to the left cause you ain't right."
-Kenny, imitating a large soul sister.

"What the fuck is with those fucking things anyways. They don't even have hooves. Where are all the boy ponies? They aren't even fully mature. They're basically just little lesbian fucking amputee ponies with shitty hair!"
-Kenny commenting on the numerous issues he had with the new "My Little Ponies" show.

"I want to remove their snouts. Sometimes I think that about dogs too."
-Kenny, talking about the "lesbian amputee ponies."

"That doesn't even make sense!"
-Kenny.

Written in the White Rabbit.

*This post was edited by me, but written by my good friend Devon. It was written while watching the documentary "Jesus Camp."

The human race is but a virus. People can't accept the fact that the lives they live are pointless. Humans can't just exist, they need something to fall back on. They need something to explain their unexplainable existence. We're scared by the things we can't understand, things that have no definite answer. So frightened by the unknown, to replace the confusion we've created a "God," a belief that a higher power is responsible for death, poverty, and disease. Something that explains our self destructive tendencies.

Personally, I say "God" is created out of guilt and fear. The thought that humans are the cause of their own downfall and eventual extinction is too much to face. So people created religion as a sanctuary from their own lonely reality.

-Devon

God-Like Powers?

I participated in a chaotist religious ceremony for my Comparative Religions course. I sat on the ground in front of a pentagram that turned out looking just like a star of David because Eric can't draw. Anyways, the "pentagram" had a number of differently colored candles on it and Jason (our guide in this chaotist ceremony) exaplained that I should try to mentally grow roots into the ground to draw energy out in an attempt to change the weather. Little did I know that this would turn out to be a success on my part.

So the next day I woke up a little tired and kinda hungover because I got in at about four am after Sergs and a house party. My techno was playing at an obnoxiously loud volume and I was inside a nest of comforters and pillows. This should sound familiar because I've posted this before (see "Nesting" post.) Anyways, I get a call from Devon who watched the whole ceremony happened and knows that the weather I wanted was golf ball sized hail. She tells me to go outside.

It wasn't golf ball sized my friends, but there was hail falling from the skies. I bet Jason was pissed because he was hoping for negative twenty degrees.

Nesting.

I woke up today curled up in a tiny coil surrounded by a nest of comforters, pillows, and remotes. My techno cd was playing loudly enough to be heard from the front door, and a couple of my lights were on. Talis, who was still awake and semi-coherent when I came in around 3 am, didn't seem to mind the obnoxiously loud music as she lay in pain on her bed, but she did insist that I grab her some extremely cold water in two differently sized cups and some pills to ease her pain. To be honest I'm feeling extremely good right now, but I have a feeling that today is going to be a total write-off.

Pictures Coming

Last weekend was an intense experience. So this week I've decided that I need to make myself a to do list. At the very top of it is staying in most of this coming weekend and letting myself mellow out. Another thing I will try to accomplish this week is to post some of my ridiculous drawings just so anyone who is fool enough to like anything I create can have something to look at. I hope that by posting this I will have more of an incentive to actually get things done.



On an unrelated note, I want everyone to know that good things are coming. For the first time on t.v. I just saw a preview for Darren Aronofsky's new movie The Fountain.

Well.

Most days I park in the parking lot and by the time class is over I have no idea where my car is. Today, just for a change, I knew exactly where it was, but it genuinely wasn't there. I was towed.

Gotta go call the car lot.