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Terrorism at Its Best and Worst

So I heard on the radio this morning that tainted pet food has been found responsible for most of the recent unexplainable deaths of dogs and cats, and I've developed a working theory to explain who would be capable of doing such a thing.

Actually, that's not true. I don't really have much in the way of proof for this theory, just a sweet picture that I've been stoked about showing off for on here for while, and no way to tie it to anything I felt like posting. Just because Osama killed Steve Irwin-OSAMA USES STRINGRAY'S CHEST PIERCING BARB ATTACK, doesn't mean I can pin every senseless and unpredictable death on him. I'm sorry I lied Osama, but you kinda had this coming after you couldn't even wait the extra week to murder Steve on the anniversary of your worst terrorist attack on American soil: LaToya Jackson's 1991 released autiobiography "La Toya: Growing Up in the Jackson Family".

So guys and gals, even if Osama isn't at fault this time we can still take this tragedy as a learning experience. Feeding your animals soft pet food isn't just hard on your animal's teeth and digestive system, it has now been proven to harbor fatal amounts of an unknown toxin that will undoubtedly leave your furry family member dead or dying after four days of severe unrelenting pain.

Goodbye for now, I'm off to download Pokemon's most beautiful and seizure-inducing episode "Dennou Senshi Porygon" and feed my dog a can of soft dog food.

Sincerely,
-Computer Warrior Porygon

My Wrist Hurts...

Okay! So I'm over the week of soul crushing scholastic hell and I can now relax. I am now in a state of exhausted relief. That said, nothing that would interest any of the four loyal minions I've accumulated has happened recently, except for a few unmentionable things that could get me beaten or arrested and some things that would be funnier if you were there, like the time I stubbed my toe then punched my chair while wearing flood pants and a beer stained wife beater. Yeah...

Well anways, due the astounding amount of putrified shit I had to bathe in last week, I am now looking for someone willing to write my ten page poetry analysis for me. Yes I know, nobody likes a dishonest amoral pile of shit who doesn't deserve to be in university and I shouldn't lower myself to the level of an retard who can't write papers, but seriously I'm fucking tired. I don't want any more work and I will pay you fifty bucks.

Oh yeah speaking of retards, my friend Devon, or Dee as the masses of unimportants call her, entered a dance competition. She not only had to walk in unprepared and dance her ass off for over two songs, but she also got cock slapped in the face when to her dismay an adorably handicapped girl swooped in (okay that's not exactly true, she was actually wearing a cape and pretending she was a helicopter, but swooping sounds better) and used her spastically choreographed rendition of The Pussy* Cunt Doll's Song "Dontcha" to jiggle her way into first place.

Devon was a little disappointed with the XXL shirt that she recieved for second place, but I think this experience in the competitive world of dance is worth well over the cost of the 150 dollar pair of jeans that are were first prize.

Anyways to anyone that thinks they can successfully write my paper comment on here and I will talk to them about it. No idiots please.


-Velociraptor Cookie-Time

*Pussy: pronounced puh-see

Go to March 6th

If you scroll down there's a new post under March 6th that I finally finished for Talis. Thanks for the Star Trek picture Trev.

Handbanana

If you have a bit of time to kill watch this hilarious episode of Aquateen Hunger Force about a loveable dog called Handbanana who was created from the DNA of a gigantic shake. Did I mention he has a strong lust for hairy italian men?

Wicked

Fido

Happy Birthday Talis

I'm not sure why I never posted on Leni's birthday so I'm going to include a section for her too.