Lucky or Unlucky? Either Way, Long Story, Bad Tess. Part 1.

The weekend of craziness has come to a close and I'm not doing any substances for a long time (until I get back from my dad's to be exact.). One of the crazy nights was Saturday. Saturday night, my drunken friend Devon Gray not only gratiously offered me a few tequila shots that she already ordered and had no way of paying for, but also made me drive her to my house from the bar because she accidently became drunk enough to nearly projectile vomit out of my car window.

Once it was decided that because I wasn't overly loaded and therefore responsible for her well being, I begrudgingly started the unsafe drive home. Immediately after arriving and explaining the situation to my mother, I was verbally assaulted for my lack of regard for some of the most basic rules of avoiding death, DUI's, and other terrible things. Of course being slightly intoxicated, stressed, and with no favorable other option, I drove away believing that I am the bullet proof bastard of the world and would never get my due come-upins.

After arriving at the Rum and realizing there was a two hour line I called my friend Darren and headed for his house. I only made it about a block before spotting and picking up a random gothic looking guy named John that I vaguely knew through the local band the Hellsman. He was terribly drunk and kept asking me where his friends were and why I was mad at him. Seeing that I didn't know which friends he was talking about and was not in the least bit angry with him I just ignored his behavior for the few minutes it took for a siren and a couple flashing lights to pull us over.
It seemed to take the officer years to reach the window of my car and ask me what I thought I was being pulled over for. Turns out the electrical system in my car that has been making my life hell for the past few weeks had finally shorted out the only remaining headlight and I had been driving in the relatively well-lit street with no clue that this was the case.

After nervously explaining my story, the officer seemed to believe me, but only left after giving me an eighty dollar N fine and making me flash every signal, hazard, and high-beam light in my car. As he walked away I decided that not losing my license because of a DUI was a sign sent by the God of irony and I should watch my step. I drove off feeling like I was the drunk driving equivalent of Harry Houdini.

I began the drive to Darrens and realized that ponytail John probably needed a ride someplace. After asking John for the tenth time where he wanted to be dropped off I became fed up with his deteriorating coherancy and lack of answers so I left him at Mr. G's and gave him a few quarters to call a friend. I continued there with my highbeams attacking every car I past because of my fear that one of them would be the cop.